FatherHood Friday: Heartbroken...

I usually try to stay away from the news. The mixture of gossip, negativity and pessimism can leave one drained and depressed.  It's like that person who gives the defeated exhale everytime you ask them how they are doing.  You know the monologue (this person rarely allows verbal exchange) that will follow that defeated exhale will be filled with complaints and gripes about miscellaneous crap that a mere change in attitude would probably remedy them.

Well, listening to the news with my mother during the last days of my vacation I learned about the untimely and tragic death of a couple from North Jersey. Mike Muchioki and Nia Haqq, ages 27 and 25 respectively, were murdered in Jersey City over a robbery and carjacking gone awry.  Carjacking.  Over a car.  A piece of metal that depreciates in value the minute it's driven off of the lot.  A car, that dents, scratches, friction and irresponsibility could ruin.  A car, that is old news six months after it comes out.  The marital union that was to happen on the beautiful island of Aruba next year is now cancelled and it its stead these two will be joining each other in burial.  

Death is a part of life. I understand this truth.  I've had to deal with the loss of many loved ones in my lifetime. Most recently my beautiful Aunt Martha.  My dear Aunt Martha died in early January after a little over 50 years of life. I feel that she was still young and had much to offer to this world. This couple's age combined is about the age my Aunt was when she passed.  When death hits this close to home, it really creates a situation where you begin to question your mortality, and the condition of our community. 

I'm twenty-six years old.  The son of a preacher and an evangelist, the father to a four-year-old boy, the brother to two men and one adolescent and the boyfriend to a beautiful writer.  I'm fiercely in love with my lady and have had talks about marriage, and engagement as we move forward in our relationship. I swim the same waters they swam, the post-collegiate I'm-grown-but-don't-feel-grown waters.  The I'm-in love-and-I-wanna-get-married-but-I'm-trying-to-find/i-think-I-found-the-right-one-waters. The I'm-trying-to-get-my-credit-score-up-so-I-can-own-a-home waters

On fatherhood friday I have to reflect on the fact that there is a father who lost his son, and his future daughter-in-law.  I'm still heartbroken.  I recognized my boy's picture on the website that shows the pallbearers at the funeral.  They were connected through the brotherhood of a fraternity (Alpha Phi Alpha).  It's sad to see that I was one person away from meeting this brother.  Six degrees of separation means really that we should truly mourn the death of all who pass, especially those who pass from something violent, something tragic.  The irony lies in the fact that I feel like I know him when I look at the pictures on the website memorializing them.  I feel like at some random Alpha event in Philly (i'm not an Alpha btw) we met, shook hands, exchanged words.  Maybe I told him he had a dope perspective on the uplifting of the black community, or he told me he liked my glasses.  However we are truly connected I mourn the loss of him, and of her, of them.

Fatherhood fridays was designed to celebrate men who choose to be fathers. Today I honor a dude who was choosing to be a husband.  And I offer my condolences to his father.  Words can't quite capture the magnitude of my sorrow for this tragedy...I pray that the black community gets it together, because after these thoughts of sadness and sorrow comes anger...

If you'd like to donate to helping the families with a joint plot go here

Be Blessed