I still haven't gotten used to it. "Happy Father's Day." It's usually directed at my father, from one of my brothers or myself. It's like being the winner to a high-profile race, being the victorious underdog. It's surreal.
Father's Day has all sorts of complexities brought on by the frailties and subtleties of masculinity. Most men who consider themselves moderately to highly masculine don't look for ways to celebrate themselves (except Narcissists - like Kobe, yeah, I said it). So Father's Day bringing attention to one of the most underappreciated, misrepresented and neglected familial positions in contemporary Western culture is nothing short of a perplexing phenomenon. Nevertheless on Sunday we salute all you fathers. Dads. Pops. Papa. Poppy, etc.
People really underestimate the power of fatherhood. But through life experiences on the job (NYC public school system), in personal relationships and through study (antropological and sociological) I'm constantly reminded of what an important responsibility I have that many have neglected. Many women have hard times in relationships when they haven't had a great model of how a man is to treat a lady and vice versa. After all a father is supposed to be the first man that loves her. Likewise many of the fellas get it twisted on what they're suposed to be bringing to the table, and what realistic levels of respect from a women are; in essence a father is the first coach, first mentor, first BOSS. But this post ist about fatherlessness, but rather, fatherhood and those who support it.
I wanna challenge everyone to stop saying happy fathers day strictly to biological dads, but to the positive pioneers who support fatherhood. I can confidently say that without the support of other fathers, positive male colleagues, uncles, siblings, mothers, aunts cousins, pastors, teachers, coahes, counselors. For some it was kind words. You're a great dad. You're kid Is mad cute. Keep up the good work.
For others it's been difficult questions, prodding. Challenges. Encouraging me through tough love to push through the difficult days where the custodial commute or monetary sacrifice seems to get the best of me. For the last group it was lifestyle. People Jo just fathered kids, coached them through life. Gave their kids the iron fist, and the soft caress. Cats who I strive to be like in fatherhood. Prototypes. Thank you all.
In essence fatherhood is a community effort. Will you help support, challenge engage and love a father near you? And if you already do, happy fathers day to you too!
Posted using Blogger from my iPhone (with DJ sleep in my arms!)
Nice, I like that challenge! Love the last picture! DJ looks cozy!
ReplyDeleteD.J. is tooo cute!!! Look at those eyes!
ReplyDeleteI hope I get to meet him someday.
Fathers are VERY important, but much taken for granted in American society....hopefully people will wake up.